Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
