I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
