So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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