The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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