I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
