my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
