So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
