I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
There was a lot of him and a little penis
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
