Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
