About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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