Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
