Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
