I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My hand turned me down
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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