you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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