youre lurking in front of me
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
