The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
