K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
