That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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