My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
