im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
