Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
