Duck Duck Cougar?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
