D3 body, D1 cock
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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