he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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