kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
