just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
