I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
