..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
