ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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