I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just want to make out with him forever
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
