its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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