Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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