the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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