My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
