I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize