Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
should my penis look like a turkey
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
