Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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