so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
