My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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