drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
