i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
