I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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