tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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