i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
