Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
you are never too drunk for berry picking
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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