Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You made out with two different species that night
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
