i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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