Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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