How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
