dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
