I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
