Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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