covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
FUCK WHALES
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