Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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