dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize