I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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