i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
