she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
