Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
