Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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